so much better
by whatifellinlovewith
Summary: Pregnant with their first child, a hormonal Kate gets upset and insecure after Castle makes a comment about back when Meredith was pregnant with Alexis.


**_so much better_**

He watched sadly as she stormed off in direction of their bedroom, his hand raising to touch his stinging cheek.

The slap had been unexpected, and in his opinion unwarranted. He would never dare tell her that, though. She was moody, entering the last month of her pregnancy.

The last thing he had wanted to do was upset her. He knew it was too late when he saw the look in her eyes at the mention of his ex-wife, of the fact that he had a child with someone else.

It was a simple statement, he thought at the time. It was also plainly obvious that he already had a daughter, and that said daughter's mother was not his currently pregnant wife. It wasn't as if it was news to Kate that Alexis existed, and that Meredith was her mother, so he thought it would be okay to say.

Boy had he been wrong.

Tears had instantly sprung to her eyes, as soon as he told her that Meredith had craved ice, a lot of ice, when she was pregnant with Alexis. And then the hand had been raised and made contact with his cheek as she screamed at him to never, ever compare her pregnancy to his ex-wife's.

In retrospect, had he started his sentence with the point he was trying to make he could've avoided her tears and the slap and her storming off to where he assumed was their bedroom.

He had been trying to tell her he prefered her chocolate ice cream craving to Meredith's ice one, as bags of ice stored a lot less easily than tubs of ice cream. That, and ice cream tasted a lot better than ice and was something that he would eat, considering it took up half the freezer.

So, had he gotten right to the point, she wouldn't be upset. Instead, hopefully, she'd be laughing at him, or at Meredith or maybe even at Alexis for having such odd in utero tastebuds.

Instead, she was laying on their bed crying loud enough for him to hear from the kitchen where he still stood, in awe of how undeniably stupid he was.

Never, ever mention Meredith's pregnancy again, he reminded himself, lowering his hand from his cheek and setting it on the counter instead.

He counted to thirty before walking out of the kitchen and towards their bedroom, hearing her crying the whole walk. It broke his heart, even though he knew it was because of the hormones and the pregnancy.

Entering their bedroom, he wasn't surprised to find her laying on his side of the bed, back to the door. He could see that his pillow was raised, pressed to her face as if she was trying to suffocate herself. He knew she wasn't though.

With a soft sigh, he walked over to the bed and sat near her. Tentatively, he reached out and rested his hand on her back, gently rubbing circles into her skin through her cotton t-shirt.

"Kate? Are you okay?" he asked softly, shifting to sit a little closer to her. She sniffled softly, the sound muffled by the pillow, before turning onto her other side to look at him, her huge bump getting in the way of her laying on her back comfortably.

"Was Meredith this bad to you when she was pregnant?" she asked, sniffling again as a new round of tears fell from her eyes.

His heart sank, past his stomach and down to his feet. How in the world could she possibly think that Meredith, of all people, was better to him when pregnant?

"Kate, Meredith was horrible when she was pregnant" he told her. He watched as she brought her hands up to cover her face.

"But so am I" she argued. "I slapped you, Castle! I shouldn't of. It was stupid. I just… God! I hate these hormones" she practically sobbed.

"No, Kate, listen. I shouldn't of mentioned Meredith's pregnancy, okay? I was just going to say that I prefer your ice cream craving to her ice one, but I shouldn't of even mentioned it" he told her, moving his hand to take hers, pulling it away from her face. His other hand moved to brush the tears off her cheeks. "And, Kate, you are so much better than Meredith was"

"I'm probably not. I'm like the worst pregnant wife ever" she argued again, curling herself into an even tighter ball, as tight as she could with the baby bump in the way. "I'm so not used to being at home all the time, Castle. I feel so lazy and I hate it. And everything hurts, my feet and my back especially. I can barely stand up by myself now. I'm the size of a whale. All I ever want to eat it ice cream. And everything either makes me cry or really mad" she said, crying again. "And I slapped you, babe!"

"And I'd take a thousand slaps for the opportunity to go through this pregnancy with you" he whispered.

She sniffled again and looked up at him. "Huh?" she mumbled, clearly confused by his statement.

"Kate, when Meredith was pregnant with Alexis I wasn't allowed to help her through it. If I even stood close to the bathroom when she was throwing up she shut me out for a week, never mind the one time I tried to hold her hair. I didn't get to feel her baby bump. I had never even felt Alexis kick, God forbid had I ever tried to kiss her belly the way I do yours" he told her softly, a small smile coming across her lips.

She held out her hand, which he took and helped her sit up. He placed a pillow behind her back, waiting for her to lean back against it before resting a hand on her belly. She reached down past it slipping her fingers under the hem of her shirt to pull it up. He smiled at her as he rested his hand on her bare skin.

"I never got to rub olive oil or cocoa butter on her baby bump, but I did get to hear her complain about the possibility of stretch marks non-stop, Kate. It was horrible. I think she was more worried about that than actually being a mother" he said, making her laugh softly.

"Really?" she asked softly. He looked up, met her eyes and nodded, making her laugh again. He was happy to see a smile on her face.

"I never got to talk to Alexis before she was born" he told her, letting his hand rub her belly soothingly.

"You talk to little Cosmo all the time" she pointed out. They had started calling the baby Cosmo early on, though she made sure he knew there was no way they were naming the baby that once he or she was born. "Especially when you think I'm sleeping" she added, raising her eyebrows at him. He looked up, eyes wide as he realized he was caught. She reached down and rested her hand over his. "Don't worry, babe, I like it. It's cute" she told him. He smiled at her and leaned down to press a quick kiss to her belly.

"Kate, everything you're doing is normal, okay? It's normal to get upset and to cry and to have pain and to be annoyed, but you are the best pregnant wife I could ever ask for" he said softly. "And no matter what, Kate, I will always love you and little Cosmo. So don't worry about your pregnancy hormones, okay?" he asked. She nodded.

"Thanks, Rick. You know I love you, right? That everything I tell you when I'm mad, its just the hormones speaking?" she asked. He heard the hint of insecurity in her voice and decided to answer the one way he knew would make her heart melt.

"Mommy's being silly, right Cosmo?" he asked their baby, pressing his hand to her belly. Underneath his palm, the baby kicked. "That's right, isn't it, baby. We know she loves us, right?" he continued. Once again, as if knowing what was going on, the baby kicked from within her. When he looked back up, he saw the tears in her eyes. "You okay, Kate?" he asked, a hint of worry seeping into his voice.

"I'm perfect, babe" she said, reaching down to run her fingers through his hair. "Thank you"

He smiled and pressed a kiss to her belly again and then moving up on the bed to press one to her lips. When they pulled away, he rested his forehead against hers. "Just remember, Kate, you and Meredith are different, and that's why I mention her, but you are so, so much better to me and to Cosmo than she ever was to me and Alexis, okay?"

She nodded, smiling at him, before pulling his lips back to hers in another soft and sweet kiss. His hand still rested over their baby, who kicked hard against it.


End file.
